Having a constant and steady relationship with God after childbirth is very important yet challenging. It is always natural for one’s routine to change immediately after childbirth (especially with the first child) as taking care of your child becomes one of your major priorities. It becomes even more difficult when you have other children in the family to care for.
First of all, I would like to let you know that God understands and knows what you are going through so do not despair. Psalm 127:3 (KJV) says “Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is His reward”. God gave us children to nurture and enjoy which is why He cares about how they are raised up.
Most mums suffer from the “baby blues” and lack of sleep in the early weeks after childbirth. Taking care of a baby is hard work, time consuming and sometimes stressful. Babies do not understand what you are going through, all they want is constant feeding and attention. As a new first time mum (in the early 80s), there were days when I felt so tired that reading my bible was the last thing on my mind – thank God for His constant grace and mercies. From my experience, it was difficult at first but I had to find a way to make sure I did not lose my relationship with God. I tried not to be too hard on myself by feeling guilty of not doing my Quiet Time consistently as I should or used to do. However, I made sure I communed with God always, sincerely conversing with Him, letting Him know my struggles and asking for help. During these early stages of childbirth, I realised that staying connected to God did not have to be boring, rigid or regimental – it was meant to be stress-free and enjoyable. At the same time, I was very conscious not to be too over-familiar with our loving Father that I take Him for granted.
There is great danger in not finding time at all to pray, read the bible and hear from God each day, no matter how short it is.. If we can spend time to scroll through our mobile phones, read the latest news or gossips, call friends/family, text and WhatsApp then, we have no excuse.
One important thing to be aware of is that we are all different so, what worked well for my husband and I may not work well for another couple. New parents have to find ways that work for them and stick to it without caring what others think. As time went on, I was able to get into a routine that worked well for us. My husband and I had to try different options and ways to make the experience an enjoyable one. We were very blessed to have families around who really helped. However, with our first child, there was the excitement of wanting to be around him at all times even though there were people ready to help. There were days when I would be in my pyjamas all day and would not even have time for myself at all. When the baby is sleeping, people always say “why don’t you go and sleep as well?” It is not that easy – there are feeding bottles to wash, clothes to go into the washing machine and other things to do. By the time I finish the chores and pick up my bible to read, I fall asleep until the voice of my baby wakes me up again – typical!
God never intended that this important stage in life should be stressful or difficult. Parents need His love, presence, guidance and support during these tough and challenging times. In Jeremiah 33:3 (NKJV), God says – “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’ In this day and age, there are more relaxing ways new mums can stay connected to God. There are lots of audio Bible Apps where you can listen to bible readings while you go about your day at home – thank God for technology!
One thing that worked for me was listening to gospel/praise songs as I do not think the above mentioned technology was available when we had our first son. These songs had a positive effect on my mental well-being, reducing stress, anxiety and lifting up my spirit. The lyrics of some of the songs immediately put me in the worship mood; encouraging me to praise and give thanks. God delights in praise and it is a sacrifice of the heart even when we do not feel like doing it.
Remember to do whatever works for you, ask for help when you need it and pray about everything! Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the Spirit, (1 Thessalonians 5: 15 – 19). Never think that God is too busy to listen to your little problems or that He has bigger problems to deal with. Look at your problems in the light of God’s greatness. God is very attentive to all our petitions, He wants us to enjoy every minute with our babies and also a relationship with Him – how wonderful is that!
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